Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Father's Day 2014

After her first bath
When I was growing up, the thought of marriage and having babies was no where near the top of my priority list.  Deep down I wanted it, a family, but something about saying it out loud just didn't sit well with me.  I knew that people would make assumptions about me, the whole of me, if they found out I wanted to get married.  They'd think that, just because I wanted a marriage, I must want to be a wife as well.  Wanting a baby meant that I wanted to be a mommy, willing to accept all the responsibilities and pressures that society heaps upon mommies. It meant I was willing to sacrifice my time, body, career, and any personal aspirations for the sake of that family.  To a younger me, it sounded like you could have a family OR you could have your self.  Not both.

But I didn't want that. I wanted my family, but I did not want the prepackaged roles and titles that came with it.  I did not want a family that consists of mother, father, and children.  I wanted a safe, warm community of individuals surrounding me, bonded by love and blood, working for a common future. To me, that is family.

I'm lucky to say that that IS my family today.  And it wouldn't be possible without this man.

Blowing on hot soup.

He is gentle, steady, and patient to a degree I find unfathomable. 

He is not stuck up on superficial gender roles. He doesn't see me as a woman, wife or mother; he sees me as a friend, partner, and human being. Our roles are fluid, each of us jumping in to do what needs to be done at any given moment, balancing our strengths with each others' weaknesses.

He is going to teach our daughter so much more than "how a man should treat a woman." From him, she will learn how to live conscientiously, with love and respect towards everyone regardless of color, class or creed.

First beach trip

I am proud to call him husband, and my daughter's father.  Here's to many, many more Father's Days to come.

No comments :

Post a Comment