Monday, July 8, 2013

A full plate.

This little swinging beast clocked 11 months old.  I haven't written my standard lengthy update on her, but I will.  Hopefully before her big birthday.
I changed my work schedule so that I start at 8am now.  Running season has begun, and realistically, the only time I have to get in quality runs is in the morning.  I went out three times last week, once with Amaliya in the stroller, and it felt wonderful (for my mind.  Body-wise, I have obviously lost a lot of fitness.  Ouch).  I'll be running with the Lopers again starting on August 11, and I hope to be ready for the Mission Inn Half Marathon in November.  Can I tell you a secret?  I'm actually thinking of training for a full marathon in March.  Why not dream big, right?
School has started; life has ended.  I'm taking two very time-intensive classes, which demand a total of 15 written pages a week plus lots of time reading and calculating.  This is the reason I moved my workouts to the morning - I need my evening time for academic work.  Here's another secret... I am so, SO very tired of being in school.  We are only two weeks into this quarter and I am feeling bummed and burnt out already.  I will push through though.  With luck and persistence, I might be able to finish my degree sometime in 2014.
In short, I am tired.  My days go something like: wake up, run, shower, work, make dinner, study, pass out, wake up 1-3 times at night with Amaliya, do it all over again when the alarm goes off.  The weeks pass by in a blur.
And yet.  There are still mornings in the park, long walks in the evenings.  Spontaneous breakfasts out at our new favorite place.  Friends who keep me connected to the world outside my textbooks.  A daughter who's joy is contagious, who is discovering the world bit by bit every day, to whom nothing is mundane or cliched.  There is somehow time to try new recipes, watch an occasional movie, update this poor, lonely blog.  There are tomatoes ripening on the balcony.
And there is always hope.  Maybe the hard work now will pay off one day.  Maybe these numerous, endless journies I'm on will take me somewhere.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying the little moments, the small pleasures, and trying not to let the rest of it bog me down.  The present is rough, no doubt, but the future holds nothing but possibilities.

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