Babyness

Amaliya,

A few things I hope I always remember about your infancy, that no picture or video can capture:

• Those moments when I'm laying down to feed you while playing on my phone; you are suddenly still and quiet and I assume you fell asleep, only to look down to see you flashing me the biggest grin with a nipple hanging out of your mouth.  Priceless.

• Your sounds.  You make this creaky door sound whenever you're concentrating, or when we touch your nose, or when you're trying to get something into your mouth.  After you sneeze you let out a long drawn-out sigh.  After you yawn, you make a beautiful cooing sounds that reminds me of singing.  Even when these sounds wake me up at midnight (and 1am, 3am, 5am...) I can't mind, because they are so sweet. 

•  The smell of your newborn head.  Before I had you, I heard people go on about how good babies smell - I thought they were talking about baby oils and freshly laundered onesies.  Now I know better - there is a perfume you exude that is uniquely yours and totally intoxicating to me.  Pheromones, I guess?  Whatever it is, you smell better than anything in the world.  I love to lean close to you first thing in the morning and smell your fresh baby breath too.  I guess all the wonderful good smells that come out of you compensate for the diaper "events" that are not too pleasant.

• The look on your face when we hold up the water pitcher during bath time.  Your eyebrows draw together in intense concentration, your mouth falls open, you reach out your arms and make the creaky door sound until you can get your hands on it.  

• Your poo face, a look of utmost seriousness.  Which is always accompanied by about 15 minutes of hard, LOUD grunting and straining.  I would especially like to remember the day I took you to Kohl's, which was extremely crowded, and you grunted up and down aisles the whole time.  Heads turned, eyebrows were raised, an old lady asked me if you were okay.  I tried my best not to die laughing, but I kind of failed.  (With that said, the moment I would like most to NOT remember is that diaper blowout while IN the Baby Hawk, on our way into Joanns.  Not our finest mother-daughter moment.) Edit: As I was writing this she was simultaneously experiencing the MOST MASSIVE DIAPER BLOWOUT OF ALL TIME OMG which I had to take a break and clean up.  Showing me who's boss, I suppose.

 I know you're probably not incredibly unique - I mean, you ARE, as a person, but most of the things you are doing now have probably been done by all other babies since the dawn of time.  I don't know if it's my total inexperience with babies before you came along, or your particular combination of quirks and the style with which you deliver them, but I find you to be the most fascinating, adorable, entertaining individual I've ever met.  I wish I had started writing some of these things down earlier - I'm sure there are plenty of moments that I've forgotten during the first couple months of new-mom delirium. 

I love you - and I don't want to forget a second of your delicious babyness.

-Mom