Friday, October 21, 2011

Flashback Friday - Remembering

My brother and I with our grandma, 1997.


This is an exceptionally fitting photo since today would have been my grandma's 92nd birthday (she passed away in 2009), and my brother's birthday is Sunday.  He gets to celebrate by helping us move to a bigger apartment!  I bribed him with the promise of pumpkin pancakes.

Life has been.... stressful lately.  Between school, the impending arrival of my husband's family, our generally hectic schedules, and various other issues, I feel like a weight has settled on my chest.  I keep reminding myself of the positive - good health (despite having a cold at the moment), a body that runs, a family that loves me, a job that pays the bills, a beautiful city to live in, hot coffee, canned pumpkin, and a resilient nature.  I will get through the next couple months and come out smiling on the other side.

Everything will be okay.

I tend to be... how shall I say... pessimistic by nature?  Not prone to automatically look on the bright side?  It's my Type A personality at work, which makes it all the more important to seek out and hold onto beauty and inspiration in this world.  Today that came in the form of a blog posted by my best friend of 10 years, who is courageously uprooting and beginning a new life in a new city.  I did that once, and reading her words reminds me that the open, adventurous, fearless part of myself is still in there somewhere.  Buried for now.  But I will get it back someday.

My grandma was always a quiet force that pushed me to push myself.  She did it with few words, but with powerful love and confidence that made me feel like I had no limits.  I miss her.  When I tell the rest of my family that I'm training for a marathon, and they tell me I'm crazy or worry for my safety, I picture her sitting quietly, smiling at me.  Proud.

I may have gone off track here.  Bottom line - life won't throw anything at me that I can't handle, so I'm going to suck it up and move forward.  Which means hurrying up and publishing this so that I can finish some schoolwork, going home to love on my husband, and a weekend moving boxes up and down stairs so that we can begin a new chapter of our lives in a new place.

2 comments :

  1. It is wonderful that you are remembering your grandma; remembering, in a way, where you came from. I am like you in a lot of ways (why we are such great friends!), I tend to talk about may day first by recounting all the bad, annoying, or generally negative things that happened instead of the fun little detailed moments that make up a day. It is important that we step back from our busy days and see these little moments as what is special about life... like the moment captured in your photo. It's hard, but I guess that's why we blog. A way to hang on to those moments. Blog On!

    Happy moving this weekend! Get that cold better and enjoy your new (bigger!) place.

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  2. A) Thank you for seeing me. I love you so much.

    B) Your grandma was amazing. A true matriarch. And I feel like that's evident in the fact that when you're running in the pre-dawn or the cold and that you're pushing your body to new heights, you can do so because she was always your silent supporter, and still is.

    I can't wait to hug you again soon.

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