|My brother and I with our grandma, 1997.|
Life has been.... stressful lately. Between school, the impending arrival of my husband's family, our generally hectic schedules, and various other issues, I feel like a weight has settled on my chest. I keep reminding myself of the positive - good health (despite having a cold at the moment), a body that runs, a family that loves me, a job that pays the bills, a beautiful city to live in, hot coffee, canned pumpkin, and a resilient nature. I will get through the next couple months and come out smiling on the other side.
Everything will be okay.
I tend to be... how shall I say... pessimistic by nature? Not prone to automatically look on the bright side? It's my Type A personality at work, which makes it all the more important to seek out and hold onto beauty and inspiration in this world. Today that came in the form of a blog posted by my best friend of 10 years, who is courageously uprooting and beginning a new life in a new city. I did that once, and reading her words reminds me that the open, adventurous, fearless part of myself is still in there somewhere. Buried for now. But I will get it back someday.
My grandma was always a quiet force that pushed me to push myself. She did it with few words, but with powerful love and confidence that made me feel like I had no limits. I miss her. When I tell the rest of my family that I'm training for a marathon, and they tell me I'm crazy or worry for my safety, I picture her sitting quietly, smiling at me. Proud.
I may have gone off track here. Bottom line - life won't throw anything at me that I can't handle, so I'm going to suck it up and move forward. Which means hurrying up and publishing this so that I can finish some schoolwork, going home to love on my husband, and a weekend moving boxes up and down stairs so that we can begin a new chapter of our lives in a new place.