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| My brother and I with our grandma, 1997. |
Life has been.... stressful lately. Between school, the impending arrival of my husband's family, our generally hectic schedules, and various other issues, I feel like a weight has settled on my chest. I keep reminding myself of the positive - good health (despite having a cold at the moment), a body that runs, a family that loves me, a job that pays the bills, a beautiful city to live in, hot coffee, canned pumpkin, and a resilient nature. I will get through the next couple months and come out smiling on the other side.
Everything will be okay.
I tend to be... how shall I say... pessimistic by nature? Not prone to automatically look on the bright side? It's my Type A personality at work, which makes it all the more important to seek out and hold onto beauty and inspiration in this world. Today that came in the form of a blog posted by my best friend of 10 years, who is courageously uprooting and beginning a new life in a new city. I did that once, and reading her words reminds me that the open, adventurous, fearless part of myself is still in there somewhere. Buried for now. But I will get it back someday.
My grandma was always a quiet force that pushed me to push myself. She did it with few words, but with powerful love and confidence that made me feel like I had no limits. I miss her. When I tell the rest of my family that I'm training for a marathon, and they tell me I'm crazy or worry for my safety, I picture her sitting quietly, smiling at me. Proud.
I may have gone off track here. Bottom line - life won't throw anything at me that I can't handle, so I'm going to suck it up and move forward. Which means hurrying up and publishing this so that I can finish some schoolwork, going home to love on my husband, and a weekend moving boxes up and down stairs so that we can begin a new chapter of our lives in a new place.
It is wonderful that you are remembering your grandma; remembering, in a way, where you came from. I am like you in a lot of ways (why we are such great friends!), I tend to talk about may day first by recounting all the bad, annoying, or generally negative things that happened instead of the fun little detailed moments that make up a day. It is important that we step back from our busy days and see these little moments as what is special about life... like the moment captured in your photo. It's hard, but I guess that's why we blog. A way to hang on to those moments. Blog On!
ReplyDeleteHappy moving this weekend! Get that cold better and enjoy your new (bigger!) place.
A) Thank you for seeing me. I love you so much.
ReplyDeleteB) Your grandma was amazing. A true matriarch. And I feel like that's evident in the fact that when you're running in the pre-dawn or the cold and that you're pushing your body to new heights, you can do so because she was always your silent supporter, and still is.
I can't wait to hug you again soon.